Kitty Fetal :)

This my bitty kitty fetal. I birthed her in my utero <3

jfate

Poetry Tuesday :)

The Moon in Me

The sky is a question mark

which leads me to reminders;

pages filled with only lines,

words burnt to ashes.

Fear burnt words fly from blazon stone;

flurries that rise and flutter.

Doubt is a lasting red coal amongst

the most flammable, but never lasting tinder.

The aftermath lingers in silence,

the combustion mirrored in the moon.

the wind blows again, makes waves,

spreads seeds, eases heat.

Alas the coal settles, but with future

and the ashes to dust to dust.

-Meeee :)

Canon Camera Reviews

I don't know much about technologies and I'm not savvy in techy terms or science anything. All I know is my experience with a product and none such surpasses my expectations with flying colors like a Canon camera.

Canon PowerShot

Canon Rebel

My first Canon camera was the Canon PowerShot SD750 Digital Elph. The money for it was a high school graduation gift from my grandparents. I searched and searched for the perfect camera and my brother suggested this one and boy! was he right. Even now owning a Canon Rebel EOS T2i, the PowerShot is the best camera I've ever owned.

First pic I ever took with the Canon PowerShot.

Not necessarily due to the picture quality, though that is also great in it's own right, but because of it's insanely intense durability. This camera has been literally lost and buried in a snowstorm for 24hrs and emerged from the chill working just as amazing as the first day I bought it. It has climbed The Mist Trail in Yosemite National Park with me, capturing the mist, while being drenched in it, just as clearly as ever. I must say it's been a environmentally challenging four years for this camera and for that it was a good 200 and something dollars worth it.

The Mist Trail @ Yosemite NP taken with the PowerShot

My Canon Rebel EOS T2i is another wonderful specimen of technology. While more complicated and more of a risk to test it's durability, the picture quality is deliciously crisp as you can see in almost all the pics I post on here and hello the name makes me feel super cool :)

Highway 1 @ Big Sur taken with the Rebel

and for all of that....I am a loyal Canon customer and always will be.

jfate

Original Art Sunday :)

Today I'm feeling like I've got nothing to lose. Here's some of my original writing, poetry and photography. Hope you enjoy!

Istigkeit

I'm quite sick of "why". We were in love once and "truth" was my g-spot, but one day I tasted life and why didnt seem to matter anymore. All that mattered was that moment and every single thing around me in that moment that tickled the 5 senses. I wish everyone would stop caring why things are and just start feeling it. Accept everything! And not because you can justify it, but because it just is what it is. Istigkeit! Isness. I dont care why a waterfall falls! It just does and it's beautiful and I want it. I dont care why a particular author wrote what they wrote and all the whom elses of the worlds theory about it. I take it for what it is: a story of life, experience, imagery. I dont need explanations, I just need to feel everything! And the feeling is explaination enough. I find myself in these modes where I wish to be an all-cosuming being; just to be able to consume everything in the world: all feelings, experiences. I want... life. I want the winds across my knees. I want to be a seed in a hurricane. A molecule in the sea. I want to be the burmuda triangle. I want to be a waterfall, endlessly falling, I want to be! just be, simply be. I believe in the grass. I believe in the eye of a feline. I believe that we dont need to ask for tomorrow. It shall come, it shall render change sometimes life changing. And when it all stops. it all stops and that is all. 

A butterfly is of a strange kind, but a butterfly is just like you and me the same. Indeed I am a butterfly. except I transform daily. I have a thousand different wings and within them one million different colors. As I travel I hear the wind sweep past me and as I fly I see things others cannot. A butterfly is of a strange kind, I am a butterfly, indeed I am of a strange kind.

Well

A hallow well is at a loss for syllables. Each brick is molded

across the rim, but standing. However, not sustaining are 

the drips that echo like howling. Succulents scour the

depths, their vines in search of swollen dirt. What

remains is not forgiving. With cracked agony,

it seethes for its bucket to descend into

a yesterday lined in faces made of 

ripples, eyes and sun mixed to 

crystals. A simple sorrow 

swells with no, 

nothing, but a 

raspy groan.

I am a fleeting memory,

a youthful summer breeze.

My seasons carry hot nights, 

thrown dandelions, mason jars filled with firefly wings.

The sliver of the moons silver lining

sounds like the rounds of a crystal glass.

An illumination of lines tear down

a frosted cloud.

My eyes like sequins twinkle,

a body like a snake crouched in leaves. 

I fall from my meal nest. A great howl:

splat! The streets hollow.

What is this force of hand

that demands I say

what I know?

To bleed through pages with grey edges

and marked with blues a-glow;

to stamp my nerves in stone.

And oh! the excuses to not,

to withhold my lichens and leeches,

so that I can remain whole.

My stars and moonshine make me,

burnt frost hair and hips shaking,

the maypole quaking, my kindred sisters.

God oh God what is this force of hand?

This central instinct to create. 

Waxing and waning, each season I'm changing,

a brown leaf in the gutter, my nature can rot.

Last Words 

He was like the guys you see in old-fashioned movies; black and white. His smile was like the moon light, illuminated. “How are you sweetheart?” he asked. How am I? Who cares, I thought. “How are you Pop? I love you, be strong.” He didn’t even know, they didn’t tell him. He would have gone on forever, if they had never told him.

Rainy Daze

It's one of those typical Florida days drenched in cloud sweat and the nap inducing sounds of a thunder's discontent rumble. I went into the storm a little bit ago to take the pictures that I'm going to post in this and I found myself enjoying being out in the summer rain more than the photography itself. If only I can capture that feeling.

It seems like a juvenile thing to play in the rain so I think many people try to avoid getting wet or even going outside during a storm. I think we all forget how wonderful it can feel. Everything about it: the cool drops slipping down the front of your raincoat and into your boots, the fresh smell of soil's thirst being quenched, the comfortable grey sky, the childish crawling fear of sporadic thunder. And it's funny how different the experience of a rainy day can be depending on where you are. I know when I'm in my house and it's rainy I'm either getting cabin fever trying to figure out what to do or not consensually falling asleep, but when I'm outside on a rainy day I feel very much alive and happy and like I wanna play and find frogs and drink raindrops.

When I was out there I saw my cat sitting in the window and I thought it was funny because it is usually the opposite situation. So I did a little dance for her and she did one back. While I'm on the cat topic, my little lola brought me a present this morning. I was sitting on my computer in the living room and I see her come up to the door from outside - with a jesus lizard in her mouth! She's such a sweet killer. At least it wasn't a snake this time, that's usually her specialty. Anyhow, my dad and I frantically tried to get her to put him down and eventually she did and luckily he was still alive :)

When she came in I told her "Thank you, but no thank you my sweet. This family likes lizards."

jfate

Ariel & Pom Pom Mania!

I got the books I ordered from Barnes N Nobles yesterday! Sylvia Plath's Ariel & The Bell Jar and Ayn Rand's book set of The Fountainhead & Atlas Shrugged. There will be lots of reading in my future. 

Yesterday and today pretty much consisted of reading Ariel and going pom pom crazy. I got 3 packs of multi colored ones and am applying them to my socks and hair bands. Check it out:

jfate

Trunks up :)

Even though I had this majestically amazing dream about an all white koi fish (if anyone knows what this means please help :), I want to talk about my favorite animal the elephant.

My great-grandmother, Mum Mum used to believe that a statue of an elephant must have it’s trunk up. This was due to her belief that the truck being up was symbolic of showering good luck. Looking this idea up online I found that she shared this belief with many other Americans, though there is no known origin for the belief. Regardless, Mum Mum was and still is a person I greatly admired, actually beyond all others. Even though I barely spent much time with her before she pasted and maybe that is even more the reason, I hold her and this belief of hers dear to my heart. She seems to be a constant inspiration for me in every facet of my life, art and otherwise. 

I wrote this for her a while back:

“Madeline was my great-grandmother, my past, my soul. She was the only one I’ve known to truly care about everyone. I don’t just know that because she is gone now and I can speak for her. I know because with every cool wind and rustle of leaves, I feel her. When every night my sleepy lids lower, I feel a kiss of each, a hand to cheek. With every twirl of her rings around my fingers, every reflected tear in my glasses, she’s with me still. Her care lives beyond me and with me and because of me. I dream of sailing with her under starlight, the moon’s glow drizzling life into waves. I still write for her. I only write for her. I know how proud she’d be. I do believe it is the best things in life that do not last. It seems to be natures way of keeping us humble to existence and not spoiling us. And though I only have her in spirit and memory, I have her.”

Because of her great importance to me and my life, I too have become sort of infatuated with elephants. Not only are they cute, but they are so caring and kind that they have been known to sacrifice themselves for others and not just of their own species, but humans and other animal species as well. Not to mention they can literally die from a broken heart! I <3 them.

Here's Mum Mum and some of my elephants (trunks up :)

jfate

Feeling Art-y

I started going through my old high school/ college doodles and drawings yesterday. I ended up finding these cool drawings I used to do during lectures to keep from being bored (I think the style is called "pen and ink" at least that's what someone told me once lol). They actually say doodling helps people listen better. Anyhow I decided to post them up today and see what everyone thinks. Despite them being awfully time consuming I was wondering if I should make more? Or do something cool with them, like make them move or blow them up really big?

I also found some old pictures from my photography classes in 10th and 11th grade. I'll post another time.

Doodle collage ©jfate

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Now if only I could feel comfortable enough to post some writing on here lol...

jfate

The Salvation Army and Vintage Finds!

I wanted to start off by proclaiming that I’m the type of person who builds a whole nation of castles in the sky, but never lays the foundation for the aforementioned. Nation after nation float away like clouds and I never seem to move forward with them or because of them. 

Now since I was say about 15 I thought about vintage clothes, looked at vintage clothes online, tried desperately to find these elusive treasure chests of vintage clothes near me. However, I was never able to make it happen, never allowed to use my mom’s credit card online, and too scared to drive into Miami alone. 

A couple years ago at one of my mom’s and our neighbor’s annual garage sales our neighbor told me she had found some good stuff at one of the local Salvation Army’s. Now because I didn't expect to find actual vintage clothes there, but just second hand stuff, I blew off the idea for a while. Until recently when my mom had the idea to go there to find 70s inspired shoes on the cheap.

Granted, my previous assumptions were correct when I said I probably wouldn't find actual vintage clothes from the eras I wanted, but I did happen to find some pretty cool treasures that no department store would have and no online store would have all for under $60:

Red velvet flats $5 @ The Salvation Army

Lace-up boots (not leather) $10 @ The Salvation Army

Bebe floral print jeans $7 @ The Salvation Army

Joe Boxer multi color cords $9 @ The Salvation Army

Velvet silver booty shorts $4 @ The Salvation Army

Furry pink sweater $3 @ The Salvation Army

One shoulder purple paisley shirt $4 @ The Salvation Army

Indian patterned halter top $2 @ The Salvation Army

P.S. The best part about shopping at The Salvation Army is you're not only getting unique on the cheap, but your giving back and that's the best silver lining of all.

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About a year ago I also found some great vintage pieces in my Grandma's basement in MD. Along with the actual wooden chest I was also given the things inside:

Orange and black high waisted skirt

Off the shoulder red and white shirt

Bandana printed quarter sleeve shirt

Reversible vest 

Side 2

Plus much much more, but unfortunately the rest doesn't fit me so it's all locked away until I either get them altered or grow...

jfate